Plans Scrapped for Cola Powered Car

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Monday, 5 January 2009

image for Plans Scrapped for Cola Powered Car
The "PepsiGo" might also have used parts made from recycled Pepsi cans.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - With gasoline prices once again below the two dollar per gallon mark across the United States, plans for a cola powered car have been abandoned.

When gas prices were above four dollars a gallon, American consumers complained, whined, griped and squealed, calling the inflated prices "outrageous" and oil companies "greedy." Creative fizzy drinks executives noticed that many of these same consumers, without so much as batting an eyelash, were still willing to shell out as much as two dollars for a 16-ounce bottle of carbonated water with a little bit of sugar, caramel coloring and caffeine.

Big Three automakers were approached about a prototype vehicle which would run on pepsi. Ford's sleek model was considered the most successful. The prototype "PepsiGo" averaged 26 miles highway and 21 miles city per 2-liter bottle of cola. With gas prices falling once more, plans for the innovative carbonated car have been put on the back burner.

Ford is very disappointed, as the loss of this potentially very lucrative contract would have meant a shot in the arm for the troubled automotive giant. Top-level engineers have been assigned the difficult task of redesigning the "PepsiGo" so that it averages 50 miles per 2-liters of cola, which would make it competitive with standard automobiles despite falling gasoline prices.

Though the new automobile technology might very well have allowed the drinks manufacturer to catapult to number one in world cola consumption, as well as provided royalties from auto sales, the company has no plans at this time of pursuing the cola powered car any further. Instead, they are now considering plans to raise both caffeine and sugar levels slightly in their products, which should allow them broader opportunities to bilk U.S. consumers strung out on America's two most popular gateway drugs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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