Hyannis Ma/ Boston Globe - In an effort to refloat her fast sinking chances to gain the NY Senate Extra Wide Seat of departing Hillary Clinton, the horse faced debutante has agreed to a complete make over, starting with her face!
Although the first face transplant client died, it has been revealed that the patient had little money to contribute toward her medical expenses, and passed on after massive infection set in and she was unable to pay for life saving drugs because she hadn't met her deductible.
Madam Kennedy, heir to the enormous ill gotten gains of her former father in law who made his money selling illegal liquor during Prohibition, and was on speaking terms with some of the eras most famous hoods, said she's willing to pay cash for the make over.
Hollywood consultants familiar with Madam Kennedy said it is going to "take allot of work" to transform her into an attractive, articulate, and meaningful candidate for the US Senate.
"If she just wanted to be another A-list tart we could handle it easy, " one PR rep said, "most of my Hollywood clients that have made it big can hardly speak English, YOU KNOW? LIKE, they're totally oblivious to the real world, and that's the way their fans like them!"
A spokesman for the Kennedy Political Incest Trust Fund, said a speech coach has been hired to help the inarticulate do-gooder and published "writer." Among her Senate seeking credentials are 3 vapid ghost written books that couldn't even rate a spin with Oprah, who pimps anybody who writes non-fiction/fiction drivel that appeals to her audience.
Oprah has recently been outed with the discovery that most of her touted authors have made up more non-fiction novels than the New York Times' Pulitzer prize winning staff.
Meanwhile, if things don't work out for her in NY, Madam K has recently purchased a 6000 square foot condo overlooking Lake Michigan from Patty Blago, wife of the maniacal indicted governor of Illinois.
"Look at this way," one political observer said," Blago promised he'd put her on the waiting list for Obama's seat in Congress, which has certainly proven to be a less challenging intellectual position than the Senate. Can you imagine Harry Reid refusing to seat a Black, and then doing the same to a Kennedy?"
Radio news analysts say Rush Limbaugh laughed so hard when he heard this story he shit himself on air and replayed the "Obama the Magic Negro" jingle
3 times, followed by the "Barney Frank Mortgage Queen" ditty twice while he cleaned himself up!
