Sun City, Arizona - In a desperate bid to prop up his ailing presidential campaign, Senator John McCain has changed his name to McCane. The name change follows a similar one by the Obama camp to remove Hussein as his middle name.
According to Ralph Zimmerframe who spearheaded the McCane name change, Republicans are desperate to shore up any support they can as the election looms on the horizon.
"We've looked at all the polls", croaked Zimmerframe, "and the only voters where we stand a fighting chance is with the old and infirm. Everyone else seems to want change for some reason."
Apparently a number of name change options were considered and put forth to the Republican presidential candidate. "We came up with quite a few names that would appeal to elderly and infirm voters including McCrutch, McUrinal, and McPillcrusher", yelled a tone-deaf Zimmerframe.
"Given his military background, we thought the Senator would go for McMedicalIDtag, but he fooled us all and chose McCane, just like he did with that Palin gal."
Elderly residents of Sun City seem to be warming up to the name change. "I like the sound of it," whistled Maude Wrinkley through her loose dentures. "McCane just suits him more than McCain for some reason. It rolls right off the tongue."
Golda Widowshump, chairwoman of the Sun City Seniors for McCane, agreed. "I would have voted for him anyway, but I hated his old name. It would have been better if he had taken our advice and changed it to McAbel. You know what the Talmud said that Cain boy did to his brother. Oy Vey! I just hope they don't exile him to Alaska."
Barrack Mojo Obama lost no time in criticizing Senator McCane for his name change. "This is another blatant example of the Republicans bedpandering to special interest groups," Obama told reporters during a campaign stopover to the ACORN headquarters.
"We've even been told that Sarah Palin has started calling him McSugarCane. I don't know about you, but I don't want to see my opponent's sugar stick in the White House come January. But let's not get distracted from the real issues here. Elect me, and with Michelle as First Lady, there will be plenty of brown sugar in this great land of ours."
Immediately following Obama's attack, the McCane camp filed legal papers changing Cindy McCane's first name to Candy. "Let's see if the Democrats can lick that," proclaimed Senator McCane, as he sped off in his motorcade of motorized wheelchairs to campaign in Alzheimers, Florida.