Written by Judge Retort

Sunday, 12 October 2008

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Three Most Unmentionable Subjects become One in 2008
This way to the polling booth!

Everyone knows that the three most unmentionable subjects are politics, religion, and sex. But with new figures at hand, The Judge is eager to report the latest findings on the subject.

In 2008, the latest polls clearly show politics, religion, and sex have blended so much together that it's hard to tell them apart; everyone reporting growing frustration, even fury; and no one anyone reporting satisfaction - except those voting for themselves.

Politics is rapidly becoming like religion - the answer to everything for a lot of folks. Obama has become the rally messiah, and Palin has become the goddess Aphrodite in snowshoes, with Biden and McCain merely the chief priests in their expensive ritual suits, responsible for the bloody sacrifice of truth upon the holy altar of party ideology.

Pollsters report folks are as turned on or as frustrated with politics as if it's sex. Many of us have to have it every few days. Some, everyday. Still others, the wild-eyed obsessive fanatics among us, are entering the Drudge Report hourly, wearing out their fingers at the keyboard, with more and more reports of hair growing on their mouse.

In other news, cigarette manufacturers are reporting unexplainable sudden skyrocketing order forecasts for one particular date: November 4th.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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