McCain picks Glen Campbell as VP candidate

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Monday, 25 August 2008

image for McCain picks Glen Campbell as VP candidate
Campbell rehearses ' (I'm a) Rhinestone Republican' in preparation for the September Convention.

71-year-old Sen. John McCain has picked singer-songwriter Glen Travis Campbell to be his running mate, a controversial choice but one the former naval aviator feels comfortable with, remarking "Hey, I couldn't pick anyone younger than me or I'd look too worn out for the Oval Office."

The 72-year-old Arkansas native was long considered a possible choice for vice president, but the buzz surrounding him intensified after he returned earlier this week from a two-day concert gig cum peace talks in the tumultuous Republic of Georgia.

Campbell, with 50 years in show business, brings a wealth of entertainment experience that could help counter Democratic arguments that a McCain administration would be boring, lacking the flash and glitter of previous Republican administrations such as that of Nixon, Reagan and hipster and top-notch bongo-player General Dwight D. Eisenhower.

The Campbell first came to the attention of John McCain at summer of 1967 at a post-USO function just outside the DMZ, mere months before McCain escaped from his burning jet only to become a POW. McCain was impressed with the singer's poise, style and in-depth knowledge of constitutional law.

After suffering years of non-stop Hong Kong versions of American pop hits as part of his 'Hanoi Hilton' torture, John McCain returned to the States a lifelong Campbell fan.

Campbell is married to former Rockette Kimberly Woolen and has eight children by her and his former ten wives.

He is an avid golfer and hosted the Glen Campbell Los Angeles Open from 1971-1983. He is ranked #15 amoung top celebrity golfers and it is hoped his prowess on and off the green will help in the 'old boy', cigar-smoking, business-golfing atmosphere of Washington DC.

Campbell will give his first live performance as the VP candidate on September 3rd in Minneapolis-Saint Paul on the third night of the 2008 Republican Convention.

He is reported to be working up a whole new and improved playlist that will include such titles as 'By the Time I Get to DC', ' (I'm a) Rhinestone Republican', 'It's Just a Matter of Time (Before Obama Screws the Pooch)' and 'The Presidency - It's Only Make-Believe'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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