Hillary Broke! Foreclosure and Bankruptcy Looms! No Help From Bill!

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 24 August 2008

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NY/NY AP - Citing major financial shortfalls from her failed Presidential run,a spokesman for Senator Hillary Clinton said today she may wind up broke and penniless.

"Her husband wants no part of this mess," a source close to the situation said,"she got herself into this situation, and she can just get herself out of it! Bill doesn't like to hang around with losers!" (ed. note: could have fooled me!)

The Clinton camp is already furious that Senator Barack Obama, the party's choice for President, has refused to help on the bail out, and referred her to Democratic Senate banking member, Barney Frank,D. Ma, who recently shifted the nation's bad debts on to the shoulders of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, further impacting the US's economic decline.

Insiders say that Speaker of the House, Nancy Peolosi may consider an earmark to cover the $15 million debt on her "Save Dole Pineapple" legislation pending in Congress now.

Senator Frank was unavailable for comment, already embroiled in another controversy as he considers taking responsibility for Senator John Edward's love child, along with several others in the Democratic Party, including Eliot Spitzer, and former Senator Gary Hart as they vie for "Most Virile Democrat."

Concerned Democrats are projecting a Dooms Day scenario as the Democratic Convention gets underway in Colorado this week. Many Hillary Supporters are pushing the Senator to do a Lieberman and switch to the Republican Party, and take her 18 million votes with her...leaving her husband behind.They feel her own party has dissed her, just like they did with Al in Connecticut,but she could rise from the ashes and seek REVENGE , a Clinton trademark.

Unconfirmed reports had the Senator having a secret meeting with Carl Rove, Republican king(queen) maker, and party strategist, in a Starbucks on 42nd Street in NYC, a place where none of the patrons would recognize their own Senator, and did not speak English.

It has been reported that the Clintons have taken in over a hundred million dollars in donations and fees since Bill Clinton left the White House, most from middle eastern states that supply the majority of the oil to the US. Rumors are THAT cash cow will be shut off in favor of Barack Hussein Obamba who's persona, ego,hubris and religious leanings are more in line with the current ruling class in the shiekdoms.

Those in the know said that Hillary's windfall profits from her Whitewater investments are long gone. Other wags say that when her confidant Vince Foster allegedly committed suicide in a Washington Park, he took a long list of account numbers and passwords to offshore bank accounts with him.

Feminists close to the Senator are urging her to file for divorce and go after her husband's assets, citing the recent Paul McCartney settlement ruling, they said she could get millions, and it wouldn't cost her an arm or a LEG to get her rightful share. There are concerns however, that full disclosure could land both of the Clintons in a Federal Pen. Insiders say Bill Clinton would cave in and settle peacefully rather than serve time playing a secondary role in the remake of "Deliverance" and becoming the butt of jokes.

Republican Presidential Hopeful Senator John McCain had one comment about the Clinton Financial Dilemma: "PRICELESS!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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