Every single reader of the right-wing hate rag The Daily Mail burst into flames today, thought to be caused by the combined rage generated by several stories over the course of the last few days.
"It started with the fall in house prices" explains editor Sir Hugh Fotherington Smythe "It seemed to cause some built up anxiety in our readers which was then compounded by the rising oil prices and then we ran an article about a transexual being pregnant. There was a massive explosion with tweed going everywhere. Some people actually caught fire in their caravans. It's really affecting our circulation figures."
Prince Phillip was unavailable for comment muttering something about 'bloody arabs'