You Will Die Now For Praying While Driving

Written by David Hawkins

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

image for You Will Die Now For Praying While Driving
Praying is now the Pword.

Keeping the church (you praying) and the state (state highways) separate is the reason for the season.

The Rearend Jizzy Jackins acted like a big unintelligible sissy with his eyes all way too far apart like a hammerhead shark and his stupid ass rhyming speeches today at the White House trying to extort everyone into keeping people from praying while driving on state route 37 and other state highways, according to an invisible skinny bearded Indian man sitting naked atop a flaming rope that tells me these things in my garage after I drink too much coffee.

I was looking for a pipe wrench and a ball pien hammer when "Guru Fire Rope Sitter Man" appeared and told me that if the state troopers catch anyone praying while driving they are allowed to kill them.

That includes saying "Oh My God, I didn't know I was speeding. Really?" POW you prayed. You're dead.

"Jerky Jackson said, 'We have to keep church and state seperated every way we can and genocide is a great way to start'", said the invisible man on the flaming rope in my garage.

I asked him why Jepsie JarJar was such a big hero when you can't even understand what he's saying.

Guru Flame Rope Sitter said, "Well, if you can't tell what he's saying, how do you know it rhymes?"

"Vowels" I said. "Vowels".

Guru Flame Rope Invisible Sitting There In My Garage From India man said, "Jesse Jackbone will soon require that prayer will be called the Pword."

I thought that was odd because isn't JJ all about prayer and all that stuff being a Reverend? Or whatever he does when he's not extorting money from large corporations for threatening them with making belive he thinks they are racists for some ad or another.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more