WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - At a Shell gas station here in Washington, Reverend Rocky "Raccoon" Rockhead and a freaky bunch of activists are mad as hell about soaring fuel prices and are now praying to Jesus to bring down gas prices.
Rockhead has founded the Prayer at the Pump movement to seek help from a higher power to bring down fuel prices.
The thousands of activists include Rockhead, a former Miss Nude Washington DC, Hillary Clinton, Paris Hilton, and several Baptist volunteers from local soup kitchens.
Together, they join hands, bow their heads and intone a heartfelt prayer.
"Lord Jesus, come down in a mighty way and strengthen us so that we can bring down these high gas prices," Rockhead shouted to a chorus of "Amens."
"Prayer is the answer to every problem in life...We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people like that retarded chimp in the White House, that idiot McCain and those crooks at Exxon Mobil who are keeping these prices high," Clinton added.
"Lord, the prices at this pump have gone up since last week. We know that you are able, that you have all the power in the world," Rockhead prayed with the nude beauty queen, Hilton and Clinton, then sang a modified version of the spiritual, "We Shall Overcome."
"We'll have lower gas prices, we'll have lower gas prices," they droned.
On the weekend, Rockhead, Clinton, Hilton and the beauty queen led a group of around 20,000 people in prayer at pumps in San Francisco, where gas is touching the four-dollars-a-gallon mark.
Americans have turned to prayer because the earthly powers-that-be don't seem to give a hoot, said Bill Clinton.
"It's what you do when you feel you have no one on your side, and they certainly don't have the US government on their side on this," he added, saying it was also a "sleezy election ploy."
At the Shell station, Reverend Rockhead had dire words of warning for those rich Republicans who are raking in big profits from high gas prices.
"Woe be unto those people that are really greedy and taking advantage of American families," he proclaimed from his pump pulpit.
"These prices will come down, just like the walls of Jericho came down in the Bible," Hilton shrieked to another chorus of Amens. "If they don't all Republicans will burn in Hell, but that's where they all go anyway."
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire
