The Highways Agency is removing an artificial traffic jam after it caused nine months of frustration for drivers.
A spur road joining the M25 was deliberately closed in an attempt to cause a bottle neck.
The scheme cost £500,000, involved 100 CCTV cameras and 2,000 traffic cones, it also caused long delays as drivers were forced to queue to get on to an otherwise free-flowing motorway.
Traffic experts had wanted to study UK driving habits. They planned to see how enforced traffic jams, at times up to 6 hours, would affect driver behaviour.
Bill Turpin from the Highway Agency said yesterday,
"We wanted to measure the levels of aggression in drivers as they were stuck for several hours in totally bogus traffic jams. It was very interesting to watch people's reactions. Most drivers initially assumed the hold ups were due to road works, as is usually the case. For the most part they seemed to accept this in a typically resigned 'British' kind of way. However, in an attempt to measure tolerance levels we organised for certain 'events' to occur along the way. "
He continued,
"For example, at a point where cars were at a total standstill, we sent a group of traffic wardens out onto the M25 to start issuing parking tickets. Our researchers noticed a marked increase in the driver's agitation at this stage . Furthermore, just before the point that we knew the traffic would begin to clear, we decided to send out 150 Eastern European gypsies to start washing the windscreens of every vehicle in sight. Some were even instructed to lean into the cars and tweak the noses of the drivers. We timed it perfectly so that when the cars were ready to drive away their view would be totally obscured by thick soap suds and in some cases chamois leathers."
When our Home Affairs correspondent asked Mr Turpin about the high level of reported accidents that occurred during this time he replied,
"A regrettable aspect of any piece of social research is that some people may suffer short term adverse effects. We apologise for this but believe that our study will benefit future drivers throughout Britain for many years to come."
When asked about the specific nature of his findings the researcher replied, without any hint of irony,
"We have found that when exposed to long delays, drivers become extremely frustrated, especially during heatwaves. In addition this agitation can result in outbreaks of violence where makeshift weapons such as car jacks, jump leads, and even hair dryers can be used. We will be recommending to Central Government that they reduce the amount of fake roadworks immediately as the health of the nation is at risk."
Drivers have been advised to avoid the strip of M1 connecting Hemel Hempstead and Milton Keynes throughout 2008 as the Highway Agency intends to 'hurl sheep onto the motorway at random points in order to test A.D.R.T.' [Average Driver Reaction Time].
