First ever speed camera that attempts to actually reduce speed is to be installed outside Leeds

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

image for First ever speed camera that attempts to actually reduce speed is to be installed outside Leeds
Country's first revenue camera to be installed to actually try and reduce speeding

In what is seen as a revolutionary breakthrough by any council in the country, Leeds is to install a road-side speed camera in an attempt to actually reduce drivers' speed at an accident blackspot outside the city.

Up to now, councils and police forces throughout the country have been installing the bright yellow 'Revenue' cameras at any available spot by the roadside in order to collect as many £60's as they can from the hard-pressed and hapless motorist, whose only comeback has been to try and explain to a dozy, out-of-touch magistrate that he wasn't in fact driving the car at the time.

The A65 between Leeds and Ilkley is a favoured road of Leeds City Council Revenue Department, where up to 300 cameras have been installed to help the Council replace lost revenues from retailers driven out of the city by sky-high business rates. It is the main road to Leeds-Bradford airport, as well as to Harry Ramsden's original restaurant in Guiseley and Betty's Tea Rooms in Ilkley.

Robin B'stard, Head of Revenues, takes up the story:

"The public have been well aware up to now of the invaluable service speed cameras provide as revenue generators not only for us, but for councils throughout the country. They are the most practical means of fleecing the motorist for more money, as they already pay car tax, insurance tax, an ever increasing MOT test price, the most expensive fuel in the world, forecourt tax, air-conditioning tax, listening to Radio 1 in the car tax, car boot tax and many others too intangible to mention.

"We felt that this opportunity of paying what is in essence a "surprise" tax when they receive a letter in the post to tell them they've been snapped, was a novel and exciting way for both parties to interact and a fabulous was for us to extort more money from them.

"However, only last week, Rodney Hampton-Kneivel, our head of road safety, came up with the incredibly innovative suggestion that installing one of these revenue cameras on a dangerous bend outside Leeds could actually encourage drivers to slow down.

"We are now hoping that we will get a Nobel Prize for Road Safety as a result of this, and would be delighted if other councils and police forces might like to follow suit with thinking about installing these cameras as a safety measure."

Captain Gatzo was unavailable for comment as he was out shooting (not enough) revenue camera lenses with his .22 rifle

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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