US Senate Grapples with Bill to Count each Black Vote as Eight

Funny story written by AAJetMan

Friday, 21 March 2008

image for US Senate Grapples with Bill to Count each Black Vote as Eight
Pelosi Declares Consitution "Archaic and Non-Applicable"

In an effort to avoid disenfranchising African-Americans, the U.S. Senate is advancing a bill that would count each vote by black Americans as eight votes.

Sponsored by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and prominent democratic legislators, the bill - dubbed the Voting Parity Bill - would "provide black voters the same electoral power" as non-blacks, according to Pelosi.

"African Americans are outnumbered 8 to 1. So their votes have only one-eighth the power of white or Hispanic voters. The Voting Parity Bill provides equal voting strength to the Black community," explained Pelosi.

Pelosi scoffed at the Constitutional concept of one person, one vote as "archaic and non-applicable."

This "parity" approach is not unprecedented. Current US building codes must follow the Toilet Parity Law, assuring that women's rest rooms have 3 commodes for every 2 in men's rest rooms.

Also, America's affirmative action policies seek racial and gender "workplace parity" by enhancing scores of federal applicants defined as "protected class" members.

The Bush Administration threatens vetoing the Voting Parity Bill. Praising California's Proposition 209 which banned race-based preferential treatment, the Administration stated that "It's time for America to stop treating people based upon race."

Pushing the Voting Parity Bill through Congress, Pelosi states "It's time for America to stop treating people based upon race."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot