A blind, mute, fingerless man has described how difficult his life has been in a fascinating new book.
"You cannot possibly know how it feels not to be able to dial for a pizza or pick your nose", writes Troy Toohard, "and you would need to use your imagination to guess how I manage to masturbate".
Troy, 43, was born mute and without any fingers on either hand but courageously typed his autobiography by bashing his eyes on his typewriter keys. Which left him now blind in both eyes.
He intends to write another book about this experience - once he figures out which other body part he can use.
And Troy's problems don't end there: publishing house Samson and Shyster are suing Troy on behalf of lumbering horror master Steven King for copyright infringement over the book title - 'Misery'.
"It may end up costing him an arm and a leg", said Troy's Filipino maid, Yum Yum.
