Famed anti-tax crusader Lady Godiva today announced she is coming out of retirement in order to support Ron Paul's presidential campaign.
Lady Godiva was the humanitarian wife of a vicious husband who choked the people of Coventry with extortionately high taxes. Godiva appealed tirelessly to her husband, who told her he would lower taxes the day she rode naked through the town. Taking him at his word, Godiva did exactly this.
Wishing to keep her dignity, Godiva made a proclamation to the town and asked them to remain indoors with their windows and doors shut. One inhabitant, a tailor known as Tom, wasn't likely to pass up such a chance, so he drilled a small hole in a shutter so he could peep at the passing beauty. Sadly, for peeping Tom, he suffered acute ocular overload at the sight and was left completely blind. But on the flip side, at least Godiva's husband did abolished the taxes.
Now, some 1000 years later, Godiva is back, and is taking Ron Paul to task.
"I'm throwing down with Ron. Shit, I've had this stuff up to here," said Godiva, gesturing to her bare breasts. "And I'm bringing these old puppies out of retirement. Let's talk taxes."
Since she made her infamous ride, Godiva has led a quiet life and never supported a politician because "all of them are losers".
Now she says she's ready for some action. "Ron Paul is the only guy who is talking the talk and walking the walk. My stupid ex husband just milked people, taxing them to death. He never had a Federal Reserve but the bastard would have loved it."
Godiva announced she will ride naked on her horse on the Capitol Mall and then she plans to make a dash toward the Capitol Building.
"I'm riding for Ron and if anyone wants to see this old naked lady again they better come early, cause I think we're gonna have thousands of Ronulans out in the streets."
