Just as all but the abstinence only crowd has become aware of the danger of HPV-caused cervical cancer, a surprising development has arisen among males. Men have been shown to be developing HPV-generated cancer of the throat in numbers that rival the cancer cases caused by tobacco and alcohol.
Epidemiologists are puzzled as to how this virus has found its way down the throats of men. Dr Nave Te' of Brigham Young Medical Center posits a theory that Human Pappiloma virus may actually have wings that allows it to fly from the vagina to the male mouth and throat. She recommends that men keep their mouths shut at all times when they are around females.
Doctors at Liberty University,stronghold of the Religious right, are equally confused by the surprising development.Professor Taketup Dass acknowledged that abstinence only youth have been shown to be more involved in anal sex play but could not understand how the virus makes its way to men's throats. Dr Dass hazards the guess that perhaps the virus like the Kangaroo embryo crawls up the back of the male and finds its way to the throat somehow.
A leading pharmaceutical company has vowed to double its efforts to develop a male vaccine to parallel the presently successful female HPV vaccine. Abstinence only advocates have opposed this vaccine for girls as a provocative permission to have sex. When asked by this reporter about a male version of the vaccine, Rev Conrad "Connie" Lingus commented: "I see the male vaccine as totally different story. after all, boys will be boys!"