President Bush has not hidden his anger at hearing that his favourite spy, Britain's James Bond - 007 - has turned gay and green.
"I am appalled. Has the world gone mad? James Bond is a red blooded straight guy who knows full well that guns and petrol never harmed anyone." Bush said."I will be taking this up with the British Government at the earliest possible opportunity. How can we co-operate with foreign intelligence bodies if this is the sort of image they peddle?"
Bush was asked what he thought about the casting of Victoria Beckham as M - head of British intelligence..
"Well I have no problem with an attractive woman being in a major security role. Hell, it's only because I fancy that Condie that she got the job."
Mark Foley and Ted Haggard were unavailable for comment
