Radiohead Announce More Plans for 'Green' Tour

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

image for Radiohead Announce More Plans for 'Green' Tour

Although Radiohead's latest critically acclaimed work, In Rainbows, suggests that the band is working with a wide spectrum of colors, it seems that the only color anyone in the band really cares about these days is Green.

Last fall Radiohead made music headlines with their revolutionary "pay what you want" digital release of 'In Rainbows' months before the physical release of the album. Now the band seems more concerned with saving the environment.

"We've always loved touring," drummer Phil Selway said, "but we needed to find new ways to tour that were less destructive."

Last year the band hired a company to create a Carbon Footprint of their last two tours, detailing approximately how much carbon was emitted because of their tours.

"The results almost made us not want to tour again," global warming activist and lead singer Thom Yorke claimed. "But we wanted to do this for the fans."

Originally the band thought that playing city centres, traveling by sea and ground, and recommending to fans alternate modes of transportation would be enough to reduce the carbon emissions, but now the band have a new idea that will certainly make their shows different for anyone who has seen them before.

In fact, you might not even see them if you go to one of their shows.

"We are not going to use any electricity at our upcoming shows," Yorke claimed. "No lights, no mics, no air, nothing."

Concerned fans are worried that they may not be able to hear the band over the frequent shouting, clapping, and other noises that generally annoy concert-goers at full sound shows.

"We are simply asking everyone to be quiet while we play, and possibly save all applause for the end," said Yorke. "I think that way everyone can enjoy our show, and we can do our part to save the Earth."

The band believes that using no lights will dramatically decrease the amount of carbon emissions. They will still be touring with all of their instruments, which will be shipped by sea to the United States, but nothing will be plugged in during the show.

"It's not an unplugged tour," Yorke clarified. "We don't do gimmicks like that. This is a tour to prevent global warming. And we still want people to look into public transportation."

Dates and venues still have not been released for the North American segment of the tour, although the cities have been. According to Selway, the band is still trying to work out the details with some of the venues that aren't cooperating with their "no-lights" policy for apparent safety reasons.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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