Bill O'Really, Drowned in Ron Paul Mail, Debuts Ombudsbabe

Written by Helena Handbasket

Friday, 14 September 2007

image for Bill O'Really, Drowned in Ron Paul Mail, Debuts Ombudsbabe
O'Really prepares to interview Ron Paul on another episode of his Faux News show "The Spin Zone".

14 Sep 07, NEW YORK CITY, NY, USNA-- Talking head Bill O'Really, host of "The Spin Zone" on CBC's Faux News network, was drowned this week in thousands of letters from Ron Paul supporters. Admitting for the first time in 11 years that his coverage was "fairly unbalanced", he found it necessary last night to add a self-professed "ombudsbade" to help mop up the damage.

Laurie Dhyouwghe (pronounced "do") will appear as ombudsbabe in a weekly Spin Zone segment called "Love Me Dhyouwghe". An analytical view, as demonstrated by her first performance, suggests her role is 1) to read viewer mail, 2) to express a viewpoint different from O'Really's, and 3) to agree with him in the end.

This jumping-the-shark manoeuvre is familiar to all talk show hosts who have ever been in need of bailout. Clearly, O'Really is conscious of losing market share to Dr. Paul, who does not yet have a TV or talk radio show, and is merely bringing more skin on his show in the same way he keeps playing those Britney Spears promos.

Viewers will recall that last week O'Really repeatedly yelled at and interrupted Ron Paul when Dr. Paul reaffirmed the argument, well developed by terrorism analysts, that attacking other countries without provocation makes them mad. O'Really interrupted, "We don't need a history lesson, apparently preferring to repeat history instead.

O'Really defended his interruptions and yelling by reminding viewers of his habit, ever since toddlerhood, of interrupting and yelling at anyone who does not give the answer he wants. He affirmed his freedom from bias by referring to Dr. Paul's followers as "pinhead" and "fanatics".

Dhyouwghe responded, "You did interrupt him twice. You did not let him finish his thought. And I think it's because you truly could not see where he was coming from on a couple of different ...." O'Really promptly interrupted her and continued yelling, "He started to give a history lesson!"

Dhyouwghe then attempted to whitewash Dr. Paul as a Barney Fife character. This punctuated a rousing display of impartiality marked also by her spouting equal hatred for Britney Spears, Ludacris, and herself.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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