Ex-VECO boss grasses up Ben Stevens

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 14 September 2007

image for Ex-VECO boss grasses up Ben Stevens
Ben Stevens is hopping mad at the testimony

Anchorage, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Ex-VECO boss Bill Allen told a packed Anchorage courtroom today how he bribed Corrupt Bastards Club luminary and Alaskan ex-state Senate President Ben Stevens.

"Well, Your Honor," Allen said to Judge Sedwick, "it was one of the easiest things I have ever done in my life.

"I merely said to Ben Stevens 'What's your price, Ben?'

"And Ben Stevens replied: 'Two hundred and fifty thou in T-Bills by six o'clock tomorrow, Bill, another two hundred and fifty thou same time next Monday, and the same amount again next Tuesday and next Wednesday. Then five kilos of premium-grade coke and Jack Abramoff's classified ex-directory home phone number.'

"Sure Ben, I said. Anything you ask!"

Allen also told the court that he bribed "at least three former Alaska state legislators" including Pete Kott, Vic Kohring and Ben Stevens, son of Alaska's Senator ted Stevens.

Allen was giving evidence in the FBI corruption trial of former Alaskan legislator Pete Kott.

Ben Stevens' attorney later made a categoric "No Comment" statement after hearing Allen's evidence while his puce-faced client was last seen muttering something about hiring a hitman "before anything really ugly comes out into the open".

Bruce Weyhrauch is shitting bricks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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