Charlton Heston slams the National Rifle Association for "gun loving"

Written by Jesus Budda

Monday, 10 September 2007

image for Charlton Heston slams the National Rifle Association for "gun loving"
An N.R.A member leaves the rally with a whole different perspective

Legendary Hollywood actor and N.R.A spokesman Charlton Heston has slammed the association for what he calls a "gun loving" attitude.

Speaking during a remarkably bizarre rally staged in Augusta, Georgia, Heston, while apparently stoned out of his head on drugs, said :

"Must we be so gun loving? Are we that inhumane that we ignore the plight of our fellow man? Where is the tower of strength, the communal care, the flying monkeys? Are we not men?"

The speech was greeted with cheers from the assembled masses who laid down their weapons and pledged to bring love to the world through yoga and seafood cooking.

"He spoke what I was thinking all along", said NRA member JD Calvin Cuttle, "my heart was beating so fast while he spoke I surely thought it was gonna explode. And the flying monkey reference really rang through with myself and my family".

Mr. Heston exited the building on a flying monkey accompanied by a talking mouse and a sheep, according to N.R.A eyewitnesses gathered at the L.S.D table.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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