Elderly Pilots Insist That They Are Fit To Fly

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Friday, 10 August 2007

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Bedford, New Hampshire (AP) - The recently-formed Senior Pilots Coalition (SPC), whose membership now exceeds more than 250, is challenging the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) 48-year-old rule that requires commercial airline pilots to retire at age 60.

According to SPC President Lewis Tetlow, the FAA's 'Age 60 Rule' discriminates based on age and jeopardizes safety by contributing to a growing national pilot shortage. "Don't tell me I don't know how to fly. I was flying before you were even a glimmer in your daddy's eye!" remarked Tetlow to no one in particular.

Threatening to take matters into their own hands by partnering with the powerful AARP lobby, SPC intends to start their own independent commercial airline tentatively titled 'Old Fart Air'. Their current motto "Leave No Pilot Behind" narrowly beat out "Incontinence Across the Continents".

Opponents are fearful that notoriously bad automobile driving habits among the elderly will inevitably creep into the nation's already dangerous skies. Tetlow's own daughter stated that she has taken the keys away from her dad several times, but that he always keeps a spare hidden away somewhere.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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