Written by Skews Me

Tuesday, 12 June 2007


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image for Child calls 911 to report crying birds at sex offender's home

(Seattle, WA) Little Matthew Christianson was in tears when he called 911 Tuesday reporting a nest of birds under the eaves of a neighbor's house crying like human children. "They're screaming 'No!' and 'Don't!' and 'Stop!'," said Matthew to authorities.

Officers responded to the scene to discover homeowner and Level 3 sex offender Madden Andover had removed the nest and killed the starling chicks which he claimed are considered pests.

A search of the premises turned up no evidence of children.

"Starlings are excellent mimics: they can accurately reproduce human voices," said University of Washington ornithologist Avery Byrd. "Crying starlings pose a distrubing dilemma."

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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