Written by Skews Me

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

image for Child calls 911 to report crying birds at sex offender's home

(Seattle, WA) Little Matthew Christianson was in tears when he called 911 Tuesday reporting a nest of birds under the eaves of a neighbor's house crying like human children. "They're screaming 'No!' and 'Don't!' and 'Stop!'," said Matthew to authorities.

Officers responded to the scene to discover homeowner and Level 3 sex offender Madden Andover had removed the nest and killed the starling chicks which he claimed are considered pests.

A search of the premises turned up no evidence of children.

"Starlings are excellent mimics: they can accurately reproduce human voices," said University of Washington ornithologist Avery Byrd. "Crying starlings pose a distrubing dilemma."

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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