Study Finds Americans Have Inexplicable Attraction to Luggage Carousels

Funny story written by Salsero Blanco

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

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A study by the Feudal Aviation Administration (FAA) shows Americans cannot keep themselves from standing as close to luggage carousels as humanly possible despite the obvious dangers and impracticality.

It appears that the irrational impulse is so strong that passengers are willing to regularly take a piece of Samsonite to the abdomen or potentially take down fellow travelers while grabbing their own luggage just to be right on top of all of the baggage handling action.

Some have suggested drawing a yellow line on the floor four feet away from the carousels where passengers would wait until their luggage is available. This would allow all passengers to see their luggage coming well before it is within reach. Passengers would also have plenty of room to lift their bags off the carousel.

A spokeswoman for the FAA said that such a system is unlikely to be adopted in major airports in the United States.

"Under normal cicrumstances, I would agree that a system like that makes a whole lot of sense." she said. "But as you all know, 9/11 changed everything."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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