BAA Revamp their Image

Funny story written by Shaun Ferguson

Monday, 11 June 2007

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Aviation monopoly Big Airports Authority who own most of the UK's major airports have announced a name change and a new security process. In order to re-classify the company to reflect its core trading activity it will now be called "BASC", Big Airports Shopping Centres.

It has also announced new measures to restructure the much criticised and under-funded way in which it handles security checks, which have led to travellers complaining of queuing for more than an hour.

From 1 August passengers will be asked to arrive at the airport at least 24 hours before their scheduled departure time, each will be given a number at check-in and they can then go shopping at their leisure until their number is called.

Passengers who spend over £1,000 in the airport shops will be advanced in the queue.

In a further attempt to make travelling more enjoyable, new boarding bridges are being constructed to link aircraft with the terminal. Known as "Rialto Bridges" they will be 4 times wider than at present and incorporate duty free shops and restaurants.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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