White House unveils new Iraq strategy

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Thursday, 31 May 2007

image for White House unveils new Iraq strategy
Batteries not included

District of Columbia - White House Press Secretary Tony Snow announced that President Bush will employ a bold new approach in Iraq starting June 1st. The initiative, codenamed 'Operation Bold Move', began as a Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) concept that was originally deemed too risky.

Based in part on the success of the Deck of Cards (55 playing cards that were used to identify the "most wanted" members of Saddam Hussein's regime), the new approach is designed to curb the current levels of sectarian violence by distributing the popular board game Stratego.

Some of the rules include:

  • The object of the game is to find and capture the opponent's Flag, or to capture so many pieces that the opponent cannot move at all.
  • For most pieces, rank alone determines the outcome, but there are special pieces. The most numerous special piece is the bomb, which only Miners can defuse and which immediately eliminate any other piece that strikes them, but which cannot move.
  • Each team also has one Spy which wins when it attacks the highest-ranked piece (the Marshal). The Spy loses if it attacks any other piece, or when attacked by any piece, including the Marshal.

U.S. Troops expect to begin distributing the board game throughout Baghdad next week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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