CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Houston - Food police from President Bush's new Department of Homeland Weight Control arrested two teenagers who were in possession of two cases of Hershey bars, a case of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and 21 ounces of Snickers Bars with an estimated street value of half a million dollars.
The two teenagers, Eta Sweet, 19 and I.M. Craving, 18 were caught off-guard when one HWC officer kicked in their door and held them at gunpoint while the other officer Tazered them, causing the boy to go into cardiac arrest.
"That's what scum like this deserve," said one of the officers.
Also found in their possession were three cans of contraband Coca-Cola Classic, which contains the illegal drug, sugar. The two will be held without bail until their execution.