A Dead Calf a Day Helps You Work Rest and Play

Funny story written by carina-eta

Monday, 14 May 2007

image for A Dead Calf a Day Helps You Work Rest and Play
Calf stomach! - I'm not touching that!

Masterfoods today confirmed that it will adding mashed up dead baby calf in all of its most popular chocolate bars including Mars, Twix and Milky Way.

The move is said to be in light of the fact that added ingredients such as peanuts and raisins have increased so much in past years that bits of mashed up calf seems like an adequate substitute.
A spokesman commented, " We are catering for our meat-eating public, who for too long have had to suffer" vegetarian" chocolate and then eat meat separately afterwards."

Masterfoods, who also make dog and cat food claim that it took them years to find a sustainable source of dead baby calf and that making pet foods did not mean that it would be cheaper for them to just stick the same ingredients in its chocolate.

"Not at all," The spokesman commented, "we only use the finest ingredients in our cat and dog food. We would never use mashed up calf in it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more