Republican Hopefuls Stand By Bush, Invoke Actor... Except Ron Paul

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

image for Republican Hopefuls Stand By Bush, Invoke Actor... Except Ron Paul
Republicans Unite for Bush... almost.

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Republican hopefuls say they stand by President George W. Bush and his failed policies and plan to continue them like any good Nazi Republican should. Arizona Sen. John McCain, Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, and most of the others said that they supported Bush's decision to go to and remain in the War in Iraq.

"We're getting RICH off of this deal," said Giuliana. "You might say there's more BANG in the buck there."

The only Republican candidate NOT to support Bush and his war for oil is Ron Paul. USA Today said,

Support for Bush's Iraq policy was widespread but not universal. Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, who is campaigning against long odds and with little money, opposed the war in Iraq from the start and called it "a war we didn't need to be in."

"It's obvious that Ron Paul isn't a REAL Nazi Republican," said John McCain. "He's just a burned out Libertarian. We need to take the blue off of the elephant. We don't want any blue states represented here. Elect me an you'll see someone who can outBush Bush!"

"It's possible," said Mitt Romney, "But the real issue is that the issue is unclear. Issues are complicated things. Aren't there other issues about the issues," he said, trying to show that he's a real politician.

"I think the War in Iraq is wrong and I support disbanning the IRS. I also want to take the "No" symbol off of the Constitution," said Ron Paul. "I just wonder how many Americans support those kinds of values today."

All the candidates except Ron Paul got together after the interview to have a seance to contact Ronald Reagan.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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