Expose: Congressional Sweat Shop

Funny story written by Oddbob

Monday, 23 April 2007

image for Expose: Congressional Sweat Shop
Overworked members of Congress must work in these cramped spaces

Here in the nation's capital, brightly lit rooms are hiding a dark secret. Hundreds of men and women are churning out thousands of bills, and hardly gaining any respect.

"It's just absolutely awful." Moaned a Congressman we can only identify as "Adrian" for fear of reprisal. "All day long, we slave over the legislative process. Do you know what it's like trying to move a business tax break out of committee? That is some heavy lifting."

"Adrian" says the schedule is punishing. "If it's not some lobbyist from the National Rifle Association or Big Oil, its some constituent with a complaint about his Medicare Part D plan. Every day!"

According to "Adrian" the chamber of the House of Representatives can be brutal. "Sometimes the left doesn't know what the right is doing. That can lead to some pretty serious political infighting." He displayed the cast on his arm. "I got this when fighting off an overzealous freshman lawmaker trying to ram an abortion rights bill down my throat. You should have seen what he walked away with..."

He further revealed heavy handed tactics by Congressional leadership. "Let me tell you, they don't call him the Minority Whip for nothing."

Even with all his troubles, it was the Senate "Adrian" felt sorry for. "There are 435 of us in the House. There's only 100 in the Senate. That means they have to do over four times the amount of work we do to get the same result. Four times! I just can't imagine. And when we have those joint sessions with us and the Senate. Well. Wow! We're just packed in there like sardines!"

A special hotline has been established for anyone wishing to provide assistance to an overwhelmed member of Congress.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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