Bush Crawford Ranch Actually Former Branch Davidian Compound

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 8 April 2007


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image for Bush Crawford Ranch Actually Former Branch Davidian Compound
Bush BBQing at the ranch

In the 1990's, there was an armed stand-off, followed by a a fire and armed assualt of the Branch Davidian compound outside of Waco, Texas. Investigative reporters have just learned that the same Branch Davidian complex sits on a corner of the Presidential ranch outside of Waco/Crawford. This is not a coincidence.

The complex, called Mount Carmel by members of the group, was partially destroyed by fire in April of 1993 when members of the FBI and ATF stormed the buildings in an attempt to end a stand-off.

Koresh was the self proclaimed Messiah, Prophet, and God of his people and vowed that he would return again. Survivors testified that he often had sex with all girls, often beginning when they were ll or 12 years old. Almost all of the younger children at the compound, including those killed in the raid, were his by mothers often as young as 12 or 13.

Shortly before his death, Koresh vowed that he would return. He said that he was the new King David and that he was the Messiah. He claimed that Koresh was a translation of the name Cyrus, who freed the Jews from their Babylonian captivity.

Shortly after the death of Koresh, George W. Bush rose to political prominance and was elected Governor of Texas. Then, he was elected President of the United States. The Mount Carmel, where the Branch Davidians were killed, is on his ranch.

This publication has learned that George W. Bush believes himself to be the ressurected David Koresh and that the spirit of Koresh has infused his being. After the next election, he will not surrender the Presidency or Oval Office. He plans on using this to take over the United Nations and make himself the Secretary General. From there, he will use his power to take over the world.

This, however, is only a partial truth. The true mystery and strategy goes much deeper.

While long thought by many to be little more than a puppet president for big oil (such as Halliburton), it has now come to light that this is not the case. Bush is, in fact, the puppet Messiah for a greater menace. The President, known previously by his true master as Pinky, is the number two man in this attempt to take over the world.

His master, whom he calls his God, goes simply by the name "The Brain." He was the power behind David Koresh. He manipulated the Florida chads. He purchased the land for the Crawford Ranch and built the Mount Carmel Branch Davidian Complex. He, through his friend and follower, has plotted control of the world for many years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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