At 62, New York Woman Decides to Become Slow Walker on City Sidewalk

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 25 April 2025

image for At 62, New York Woman Decides to Become Slow Walker on City Sidewalk
While Kathryn Ross can still keep up with the fasties on the NYC sidewalks, she'd rnow ather savor the moment - she thinks.

At age 62, after a lifetime of rushing, hustling and nosing ahead of the slowpokes keeping her from being early to her next extremely important engagement, Kathryn Ross of New York City has decided to become one of the slow walkers on the city sidewalks.

“I never thought I’d see the day, but it’s time,” said Ross, noting that being a go-getter and one of the fast-moving sector of the city sidewalk pedestrian population had been an integral part of her identity for nearly her entire adult life. "I'm ready to go to the other side.”

It’s not that she can’ keep up with the fast people on the sidewalk anymore, Ross emphasized. Lean and fit in her middle age, she can more than hold her own with the stressed-out 20-somethings hyped up on energy drinks scrambling to make it on time to their advertising or PR jobs.

“I just no longer get the satisfaction I once did from flashing a dawdler a dirty look as I left him in the dust or from ‘accidentally’ nudging some old fart off the sidewalk altogether as I pushed past him,” she explained. “Now, I want to savor my moments. Life is short, you know?”

Thus far, Ross’s experience of moving slower on the sidewalks has been largely positive, if mostly limited to weekend mornings. “I’m easing into the whole process. I figured, why start with the ultra-crowded weekday morning when it’s pretty much all-or-nothing in terms of pace? On Sunday mornings, when the sun’s just coming up, there are so few people out and about that I don’t even have to formally decide whether I’m a fast walker or a slow one. I can just be.”

That said, on one Tuesday morning at 8:30 a.m., Ross did face down the sort of dirty look she used to flash at others, this time flashed at her by one of the aforementioned 20-somethings who clearly felt that Ross was slowing her down. “I just looked at her and smiled and thought, oh honey, you don’t even know how it’s done.”

She added, “I will say, though, it did give me some doubts as to how worth savoring these moments on the NYC sidewalks actually are. But for now, I’m giving it a try.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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