President George W. Bush Admits To 911 HOAX

Funny story written by Moose&Squirell

Monday, 19 March 2007

image for President George W. Bush Admits To 911 HOAX
Press Secretary Tony Snow

WASHINGTON D.C.--(ASSOCSHAT PRESS) President George Walker Bush was arrested at the White House today based upon clear evidence which surfaced proving that he masterminded 911 Hoax. Secret Service personnel escorted Vice-President Dick Cheney after he was summoned to the capitol today for an emergency swearing in and reshuffling of delicate cabinet positions.

Many news agencies hungry for information were in a mad frenzy reporting the details of this shocking event. Many shook there heads in disbelief, while others cried. Today's developments put a pall over the capital.

A visibly shaken White House press secretary, Tony Snow approached the podium to give a last-minute press conference at 2:00 p.m.(EST). The press room was packed by members of the media who sat uneasily in their chairs waiting for the meeting to start.

Snow informed attendees that at 2:15 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, Washington D.C. Police had approached a residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, where officers Pete Malloy & Barney Fife were answering a 911 call which was phoned into their emergency dispatch center.

The president is said to have answered the doorbell and when the door opened, the two uniformed police officers arrested George Walker Bush in his "Winnie the Pooh" sleeping overalls and took him in for booking.

This is the actual 911 Transcript recording of the call made to police:

DC 911 Emergency Dispatch: "Police, ambulance, or fire?"

Bush: "Fire, I think."

Dispatch: You think? Please state your emergency?

Bush: Police, I think?

Dispatch: Sir...what is the emergency?

Bush: I'm hungry! You know it's late and I'm a hankering for a fire-broiled double burger, fries and a large Coke.

Dispatch: Sir, Is this a joke? It is illegal to make non-emergency calls at this number!

Bush: Ah, sure, just radio one of your boys out on patrol, who may be woofing down a pastry & coffee at a Dunkin' Donut, if they're near a Burger King...and no onions, please.

Dispatch: My equipment is monitoring this call and it is saying that thIs phone call is emanating from the White House. Is this correct? Are you President, Bush?

Bush: Yeah, Yeah...and could you hurry it up please. I like my fries warm! (click)

(Call ends)

Police say they will be keeping the president in overnight and will release him once he's finished his take-out.

A Moose&Squirell Exclusive.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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