BILLINGSGATE POST: Monowi, Nebraska, was once a bustling town of 150. It had grocery stores, a restaurant, and even a jail. But gradually, people started to move away to urban centers like Beaver Crossing. The last U.S. census counted only one resident in the once busy metropolis of Monowi.
*Fact Check: According to U.S. Census, Monowi currently has only one resident.
It was a big move for Elmer Smuckmeister, going from a small town to a teeming city like Beaver Crossing. He had just finished high school and was voted “most likely to succeed” in his graduating class of six. He was ready for the “big time.” His old man, Homer, told him: “If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.”
Not used to the nightlife in Beaver Crossing, Elmer became easy prey to the temptations that came with living in a big city. Two things Elmer had never seen in his hometown; streetlights and sheep sitting on a barstool. After a few months, he got used to the streetlights, the sheep took a a while longer.
Elmer ended up making a fortune cornering the Montana Pole business in Beaver Crossing, and he never looked back. Proving that if you can make it in Beaver Crossing, you can make it anywhere.
Dr. Slim: “This is exactly what Horacio Alger was talking about.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. There is even hope for you.”
