WASHINGTON D.C. - (Spoof News) - In a shocking revelation, sources close to former President Donald Trump's family have stated that they believe Trump may actually be a vampire.
Tiffany Trump, who wished to remain anonymous, so forget that, said that she had noticed some strange behavior from Trump over the years that could be explained by vampirism.
"Donald has always been a night owl, rarely seen during the day. And he's never been photographed with a reflection in a mirror," the source said. "Plus, have you ever noticed how he never seems to age?"
Since Tiffany referred to her biological father as 'my absent father', she has been taken out of his will. She has been concerned about his possible vampire status for some time, but have been too afraid to confront him about it before being disinherited.
"It's a touchy subject," Tiffany said. "He never eats garlic, he always wears sunglasses, even indoors. When he came to my baptism, I swear I saw him recoil at the holy water and hiss like a bat."
When reached for comment, Trump denied the allegations, calling them "fake news" and "ridiculous."
"I am not a vampire," Trump said with a smirk. "But if I were, I would be the best vampire you've ever seen. I mean, who wouldn't want to be immortal and have super strength? Believe me, folks, it's tremendous. And let me tell you, I've got the best blood. Only the finest. It's the blood of champions. No one has better blood than me. Trust me."
