Jabba the Hero Hutt Gets a Georgian Statue

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Thursday, 16 February 2023

image for Jabba the Hero Hutt Gets a Georgian Statue
A Statue of THIS is Coming to Stare At Georgia ...

Jabba the Hutt is getting his own statue in Georgia – a state known for “Gone With The Wind” and fighting in a civil war against the USA!

Jabba is a hero to Georgians. They think Luke and Leia are jerks, and even possibly did terrible things to Leia, which weren’t shown in the movie, but ask yourself: why was she dressed in that lingerie or bikini or whatever it was? Did Jabba himself dress her? Did Jabba’s wife – I think it was that annoying little laughing muppet on his shoulder (how in the hell can those two do the horizontal mambo? Well, maybe that’s where Leia comes in … one can only speculate) – anyway, did Jabba’s wife dress Leia, maybe hold her down to put on the bra and panties? Maybe get in touch with her lesbian side while no one was watching?

Jabba’s wife isn’t getting a statue since she’s just the wife, not the Jabba. Georgia hates America, they’ve made that pretty clear, so one can only invoke the law: the enemy of my enemy … sorry, the friend of my friend is also my friend. So Jabba’s wife gets as much acclaim and protection that Jabba enjoys.

It’s good to get married to powerful scum, that way the wife of scum can also enjoy the perks of scumhood.

Some say Georgia is putting up a statue of an asshole Hutt as blowback for having to take down all those beloved Confederate generals. It’s like losing the Civil War all over again – the victor rubbing the Hutt’s nose in his loss.

Will anyone salute the Jabba statue? If they do, ye shall know on which side of America they lean. Will the Jabba statue stand tall for centuries? Or will some Antifa throw ropes around it and haul it into the nearest lake?

We’ll all have to see how the world treats a hunk of metal shaped into a Hutt, but without the good taste of including a pizza.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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