IN THE GULF OF MEXICO OFF THE MISSISSIPPI COAST - (Satire News) - The White House is reporting that the USS Idaho has just sunk a submarine that the CIA had verified was carrying 345¼ pounds of refined Cartagena Snow Candy (Cocaine).
The US Navy had tracked the sub ever since it left the port of Cartagena, Colombia.
Word of the submarine's drug cargo was revealed to the White House by a CIA informant code name "El Matador."
President Biden immediately informed the US Chief of Staff to proceed to see that the drug-carrying sub be sunk before it reached an American port.
The informant added that the sub, named "El Submarino Pescado," was also carrying 400 pounds of the finest marijuana in all of South America, along with 185 cases of fake Dos Equis Beer.
