CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Ipso Facto reporter Fuchsia Garfunkel reports that the Canadian Super Vortex has arrived.
She noted that one of the nation's leading weather experts, Dr. Faustini Fillapreeni, 64, said that as a result, every state in the nation is experiencing record lows in the low teens.
He was quick to point out that the ONE exception is the southwest state of New Mexico where the lows are in the high 90s.
Garfunkel said that Dr. Fillapreeni, stated that contrary to what Trump and his MAGA bunch believe, this record cold spell is not due to El Nino, La Nina, or even La Tia.
The doctor, who has three degrees in meteorology, said that, he blames the freezing records-setting temps on the fact that the Trumptard ignored pleas to subsidze a study to learn about the world's changing weather, and the effects it can have on the earth, the moon, and yes, even on Mars, Neptune, and Uranus.
