Death by Burger in San Antonio

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 9 October 2022

image for Death by Burger in San Antonio
You Deserve A Bullet Today ... at McDonalds!

San Antonio Officer James Brennand shot a young man who was eating a burger in a McDonalds parking lot.

A spokesperson stated: “I keep telling people, if you’re going to eat our food, please do so INSIDE the restaurant. Outside, there are cops. Lots of them. And they can literally get away with murder.

"The San Antonio police force have fired that cop, and they’re thinking they may have to charge him with a crime … sometime … later, not now. So, people, please do not eat food or walk or talk anywhere near where a cop could be.

"Those fuckers are unstable. Cops are terrorists in American society. Hell, anywhere else in the world, they wouldn’t even get hired. Most places do an IQ test, don’t they? This is what happens when angry 20-year-olds become angry cops. You’re not going to publish this, are you? ‘Cuz … well … cops. They hunt, they spy, they kill. You die.”

I promised not to use the person’s name nor tell which McDonalds they worked in. As I was driving away from this interview, I was stopped by a San Antonio cop, but luckily I wasn’t eating a burger, so he let me go without a single bullet wound.

No "suicide by cop" for me! I deserved a break today!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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