Some MAGA Republicans are complaining that their numbers are thinning. Not MAGA numbers, but the number of white people on the planet. What’s a racist to do?
To make a point and a protest, various proud patriots from the deep south have begun painting themselves up in a ‘reverse blackface’, by painting their faces and heads and sometimes entire bodies in white paint. And they’re dripping all over the place!
Talk about an extreme form of protest. But, as with most if not all dumbasses, they didn’t think things through very well.
So far, over 5000 people have blinded themselves by getting white paint in their eyes. Others have drunk so much paint, hospitals are bursting. Others have gotten into cars and big ass trucks and driven into telephone poles, forgetting that they wear glasses – which are covered in paint, and thus, are useless to see through. These small things must be explained to these ‘protesters’.
One fine gentlemen, calling himself Horace Horsehead, even drank a bottle of home-stilled moonshine while driving a pick-up truck entirely painted white. He dumped paint down his body to use as a disguise as he entered the South Carolina Bank for Hillbillies with a shot gun and a MAGA hat. He almost didn’t make it out since his rubber boots were slipping on the paint dripping off him, and of course, police found him easily since his tires left white treads down the road, back to his shack in the swamp.
When police found him, he was almost unconscious on ‘white lightning’, slurring his words, spitting out paint on a white tongue, and mumbling something about Trump as a “White Jesus”.
He didn’t go quietly. He farted and vomited the entire way to the jail house.
So to those MAGA morons who want the world to be whiter … there’s just not enough paint to color such a world of idiots. Maybe go to Florida with all the other white people and lay in the sun until you’ve nice and dark and are on your way to melanoma. Sound good?
