Donald Trump's handpicked candidates to run against Republicans who voted to impeach him are not doing well. Mitch McConnell is nervous:
"We'll be lucky to just lose our pants and maybe keep our hats at the 2022 mid-term election. We'll never win back the Senate and lose our edge there. The House will belong to Pelosi again. And there goes the Supreme Court if anyone drops or Thomas resigns because his wife attempted nation-building. Trump's picks for the 2022 mid-term election are a group of ill-advised fanatics who want to revert to an 1875 Taliban existence. They can't go back far enough. But don't quote me."
Trump demanded to know who had besmirched his name and reputation. He asked Giuliani to look into it. Giuliani said he wasn't carrying Trump's water anymore. He had begged, on hands and knees, for a Trump universal pardon, but Trump said no, and now he's on his way to prison. So the nation's mayor is going to the slammer!
"I was you, chief liar, damn it! But don't quote me."
Kevin McCarthy said he was leaving the House, returning to the deli, and selling real baloney again.
"At least I won't have to see Pelosi's face in Bakersfield. And wait until that Spoof writer ever comes into my deli. But don't quote me."
Hillary Clinton is still doing her Happy Dance in the rain, but she's graduated to wearing a thong.
And last but not least, Joe Biden is feeling his way toward Air Force One, following one success after the next, Ray-Bans on and ready for another win in 2024.
And you may quote the Spoof writer.
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