GOP Midterm Strategy: Attack and Infuriate All the Women

Funny story written by Brett Taylor

Monday, 8 August 2022

image for GOP Midterm Strategy: Attack and Infuriate All the Women
An example of the enemy, for Republicans

As midterm elections near, the GOP has come up with what they feel will be a winning strategy this November: Mock women all you can, especially women who support abortion rights. On MSNBC, commentator Chris Hayes said misogyny “is a pretty central part of modern conservatism, maybe the central aspect.”

This might not seem like such a wise political strategy. In fact, it seems to have already backfired in Kansas, where fifty-nine per cent of voters recently voted to keep abortion rights. But that’s not stopping Republicans in their relentless attempt to alienate and infuriate women, who represent as much as 44% of the GOP vote.

At the end of July, Representative Matt Gaetz received cheers from attendees for his misogynistic comments. At the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit in Tampa, Florida, Republicans thought it wise to have Gaetz speak on stage, even though the Florida Rep is currently under investigation for statutory rape. The investigation and the possibility of prison time seemed not to bother Gaetz, who turned his appearance into a wacky comedy routine, one in which he mocked pro choice women as unattractive and unlikely to get pregnant.

The hilarity began when Gaetz asked the rhetorical question, "The people are just disgusting. Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions? Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb."

Gaetz singled out a nineteen-year-old activist named Olivia Julianna, whom he described as an “odious” “5'2 350 pound” woman. The teenage Julianna responded with a tweet: "It's come to my attention that Matt Gaetz — alleged pedophile — has said that it's always the 'odious ... 5'2 350 pound' women that 'nobody wants to impregnate' who rally for abortion. I'm actually 5'11. 6'4 in heels. I wear them so the small men like you are reminded of your place." Julianna used the attention to quickly raise $725,000 for abortion care.

Amid all this anti-woman rhetoric, one of the few Republicans to warn of a backlash among female voters is Congresswoman Nancy Mace. Mace, who was raped at the age of sixteen, has called on GOP politicians to moderate their abortion stances: “I do think that it will be an issue in November if we’re not moderating ourselves, that we are including exceptions for women who’ve been raped, for girls who are victims of incest and, certainly, in every instance where the life of the mother is at stake. Somewhere in the middle is where we’ve got to meet… Handmaid’s Tale was not supposed to be a road map, right?”

These comments by Mace were shrugged off by Mitch McConnell, who notes, “Oh, that’s just Nancy. She’s a woman, you know. They say things like that. It usually means it’s that time of month, you know. I usually just smile and pat them on the head.” Donald Trump sneered, “Nancy Mace is an ugly broad, who wears too much makeup. Ugly broads should shut up. We should only have good looking women on TV.” Trump has recently proposed that female politicians should be made to compete in beauty contests before they’re allowed to run for office. He has also expressed approval for a bill that would require unattractive women to hang their heads in shame and wear a veil in public.

But will mockery of and hatred for women be a winning political platform? Republican lawmakers certainly seem to think so. If the GOP takes the House and the Senate, you’ll know that dark times for women are in store. Get ready, ladies! Your favorite show The Handmaid’s Tale could be becoming a reality soon!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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