Architects have been hired to give the Statue of Liberty a bit of a face-lift and a body-lift.
Instead of the Statue holding a book and raising a torch, she will instead be holding an AR-15 and raising high the middle finger, telling people from other countries that America has changed and they are no longer welcome.
Other changes which architects are considering: having the Statue sit down with her knees spread wide – the AR-15 lying across her lap – and a pair of huge brass balls hanging down.
“Yes, she’s always been female, but maybe a touch of the male will scare immigrants away”, says one of the lead architects, who has the full support of Donald Trump. The architectural firm was the same that build Trump Tower, the failed Trump Casino, and several of Trump’s golf courses.
Some have asked whether or not these changes to the Statue will offend people.
“Fuck ‘em,” the architect said. “These people gotta learn. Sure, Ellis Island welcomed everybody and now America has the third largest population in the world. That’s enough – if not too much. We have to let mass shootings happen – if not increase them – just for population control. Plus secret government programs are current experimenting on people living in America’s slums, so that’ll kill a lot more. The middle finger held high should keep people away for a long time. It’s time again for America to have an isolationist policy. America needs to tell the world to ‘Fuck off’, and that’s just the message the new and improved Statue will convey.”
So if you had vacation plans in the US, you might want to hurry before you accidently land on their shores and get thrown into a dog cage. Policy has changed. God Bless America and Fuck Off everybody else.
