Dear Lauren ... how much?
Easy question, don’t pretend it didn’t happen and that Ted Cruz wasn’t involved. Damn, girl, those pants are tight! I once heard that people, men and women, who wear tight pants really like the feel of those tight pants hugging their bodies ... pelvis, groin, ass, every crack and crevice filled with denim, leather, silk, blue velvet. It’s like feeling mother’s warm embrace when you were a child, comforting, a happy place.
So how much?
A Handy Jay will cost a client ... how much?
A BJ ... how much?
Va-Jay-Jay only?
The love that dares not speak its name?
Do you allow room for women? Whether alone or with a partner? The partner could be male or maybe female? Two girls plus you? How much?
How about role-play? I dress as a Democrat hippie flowergirl hugging (or tied to) a tree, and you play a Republican Fraulein dressed in Nazi regalia with a bullwhip and fuzzy pink handcuffs. Jawohl, Mein Kommandant!
Do senators get free strange, or do you charge them more. (Asking for a friend, of course.)
And would you consider having a client play Def Leppard’s hit “Pour Some Sugar On Me”? Read those lyrics – they’re hot and man do they fit the scene, baby!
So, did you do the sugar daddy or were you looking for one? Did your husband work there? You got a lotta kids. I guess those are the ones who survived the coat hanger? Other people’s foetuses are to be protected by Jesus, but not yours. What does a 2000 year old Jewish carpenter know about a woman’s body, am I right? Hell, he couldn’t even find the clitoris, that’s the real reason why he got nailed up.
The question every Christian must ask of themselves: If Jesus came back today and told me to get on my knees in front of him and open my mouth ... would I?
Would Jesus get a discount, Lauren? And would you abort the Son of the Son of God?
