BILLINGSGATE POST: California, best known for its over abundance of fruits, nuts and vegetables, has now mandated that all residents over 6 years of age must stuff cigarette filters up their noses to prevent the spread of COVID.
While most of the Nation has largely given up on mandatory masking to stop the spread of COVID, California has seen a resurgence in cases, especially in the Bay Area.
Governor Newsom, who apparently just discovered that masks do little to effect the spread of the virus, thought that perhaps a different path be taken.
In the pantheon of Dick Tracy villains, there was no greater public enemy than Flyface. His real name was Felixweather Limpp, aka Hank Tight.
Flyface was an attorney. His life changed when he met Willie the Fifth, an underworld character. It was Flyface who taught Fifth to say “I refuse to answer……” and Fifth, thinking it was a brilliant legal ploy, made Flyface his consigliere.
While Flyface and Willie were doing a little jail time, Flyface demanded to have his law books given to him to read. When no one was looking, he set fire to the pages. The flames gave off traces of nitric oxide; the fumes killing two guards.
But here’s the key: Flyface and Fifth stuffed cigarette filters up their nose and feigned unconsciousness. When they saw their chance, they disguised themselves as firemen and escaped from the county jail.
To Gavin Newsom, who only wears a mask when convenient, it was as if the clouds had parted and the fog lifted.
“This could be my Renaissance movement. I will be a hero. The White House is mine.”
Dr. Slim: “Build a better mousetrap and the World will beat a path to your door.”
Dirty: “Yo. Dr. Dude. Can’t wait to stuff a Marlboro filter up my nose.”
