WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Putin, the man who is still considered by many to be Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump's puppet master has just caught the mysterious malady known as the Monkeypox.
Ipso Facto News reports that the evil, communist SOB already has lots of shit wrong with him including a habitual case of dandruff, tonsilitis, laryngitis, syphirea, diarrhea, crotch itch, first-degree guilt, and now the monkeypox.
A Kremlin insider, who did not want his name revealed stated that Putty is lucky that he is not a horse; otherwise he would have already been shot.
Meanwhile Old Cheeto Face (Trump) still insists that he was not the puppet to Putin being the puppet master, and that he believes that the rumor was started by either Nancy Pelosi, Howard Stern, Mitch McConnell, or else Melania's boyfriend LeBron James. ■