MOSCOW - (Satire News) - President Putin says that he is not about to let a hamburger franchise dictate shit to him.
Putinski, told a reporter with The Kremlin Voice, that he had decided to reopen every McDonalds that the US-based burger chain closed in Russia.
According to thousands of reputable psychiatrists and therapists the president of Russia, has about as much business running one of the three largest, most powerful countries on the planet, as the mean, hateful, sarcastic, egotistical black comedian fat ass, Mo'Nique has of giving lessons on etiquette to teenage girls.
Vlady, who has lost about 17 pounds lately, now looks like Deputy Barney Fife of the old Mayberry-set sitcom "The Andy Griffith Show."
Putin proudly texted his old friend Sean Hannity and told him that regarding the old McDonalds, which he has reopened as McDonaldski's, they are doing fantastic business.
Vlady Nikita proudly revealed that the new Russian Mickey D's are now selling sodium-free McBacon Strips, which have become all the rage.