Mount Rushmore Erupts

Funny story written by Wildpete

Thursday, 4 February 2021

image for Mount Rushmore Erupts
Before the carnage

RAPID CITY, SD – Unusual seismic activity has been noticed, in recent weeks, around the monument at Mount Rushmore. This was then followed by strong sulfur smells noticed by visitors. That resulted, today, in the eruption at the top crater of the sculpture (Roosevelt), sending tourists and rangers fleeing.

The Memorial was completed in 1941, at the top of one of North America’s most active volcanoes. To this point, the National Park Service has been lucky. That luck ended as lava came pouring down Lincoln’s beard and Jefferson’s nose. The flow reached the Visitors’ Center, and has stranded hikers.

“Teddy’s head just exploded today,” reported Park Ranger Jeff Henner. “There’s not much of him left. Jefferson’s left side is gone. Washington is still intact. But poor Abe. His head is crumbling before my eyes. First Booth and now this. I just can’t stand to watch.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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