Oswald's Dallas Window Fetches $3 Million

Funny story written by aningeniousname

Monday, 19 February 2007

image for Oswald's Dallas Window Fetches $3 Million

The world famous window from the fourth floor of the Dallas school book depository in Dealey plaza was yesterday sold on the internet auction site E bay for the astonishing figure of three million dollars.

The window, which government conspiracy theorists claim was used by Oswald to ruin Jackie Kennedy's dress on that fateful day in November 1963, was a surprise lot among the second hand books and toenail clippings usually sold on the site.

An excited spokesman for the auction site told the spoof that it was a huge honour to sell the actual window that Oswald didn't actually shoot the president from, he said, "It was just amazing to see and touch an actual piece of history, if you looked closely, you could actually see the spot where Oswald's finger prints would have been, if he had actually been there."

The window its self, unlike Mr Kennedy, has had a long and turbulent history since that historic day, soon after the the coup d'etat, all the original glass was replaced by a team of US army glaziers appointed specially by the Warren commission.

The glass removed from the window was taken by military jet to Washington, so members of the commission could look through it and see if Oswald could have had a reasonable view of the Presidents motorcade.

As the years rolled by thousands of people's sticky finger prints left the frame of the window looking worse than the floor of the dead President's Cadillac and so in 1978 it was decided to replace the frame with one that could better withstand the wear and tear of being internationally famous icon.

The buyer of the famous window is an unknown Texan billionaire who wishes to remain anonymous at this present time, but it is believed the window's new owner made his fortune in the oil business and has an intense interest in the political scene in Washington DC.

We can only speculate as to who the lucky new owner of this window could be and of his plans for a special little piece of the American dream.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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