Getting Trump Out

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 3 January 2021

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The twins: Can move furniture or remove loiterers.

Secret Service agents are wringing their hands. They are speculating in private during breakfast, lunch, dinner, and tea time, on how they will remove Donald Trump from the White House if he refuses to budge on Inauguration Day.

Why is this a how problem?

When someone jumps the White House fence, does the Secret Service require a Master Class, debate, historical referencing, or a term paper to figure out how to remove the fence jumper? No. They throw the intruder to the ground, cuff him, read the guy his Miranda Rights and haul him off in the police van.

Neat, fast, easy!

If, after 12:00 noon, on January 20th, Donald Trump remains in the Oval Office, he should be treated like the guy who jumped the fence.

Giuliani might put up a verbal stink. Ignore Giuliani’s verbal stink. Read Trump his Miranda Rights, cuff him, and haul him off in the police van. You may have to take Giuliani, too.

If Don Jr. and Ivanka try to pull Trump out of the police van and back into the White House, haul them off in the same police van.

The Secret Service announced that there was no government playbook on removing a lingering ex-president. Playbook? It isn't as though you’re planning a one-way trip to Mars. You are removing a trespasser.

Nancy Pelosi says she wants to pull Trump out by his hair. The problem is, she could end up with a fist-full of hair, and he would still be sitting in the Oval Office.

If nothing else works, get the twins.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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