MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction), a hilarious feature screenplay soon to be serialized in a ten-part podcast, has long been a thorn in President Trump’s fat thigh. The script features a parody of President Trump in the form of a character called Donald Jasper Dump.
Dump, the owner of a string of luxury prisons, steals the US presidency thanks to the help of Russian president/gangster Vladiwell Putitin. After taking office, Dump picks a fight with the Chinese president, Me Hung Long. The end result may or may not be Armageddon. You’ll have to wait till the movie is released to find out.
Trump was apparently apoplectic when he first read the script, claiming it made him look dumb and had too many long words. He has tried, on many occasions, to acquire the script himself to prevent it from ever being produced. Fortunately, for lovers of quality comedy movies and podcasts, Trump has failed in his endeavours.
Now, President Elect Biden has secured the rights from the writers, David Smith and David Tenenbaum, for an undisclosed fee.
“I’m delighted with my purchase,” crowed Biden to a hastily-assembled press pack outside his underground hermetically-sealed virus-free bunker in his garden, “I hope to have the movie in the can and ready for distribution by May 2021. So, if you thought Trump was a hapless idiotic chump before, wait till you see the movie!”
However, there is one person close to Trump who is delighted the movie is going to be made. That person is the president’s wife at the time of writing, Melania.
“In the script, Dump is married to a sex-bot called Mekanika. Joe (Biden) has kindly offered me this role and, once I scrape off the adulterous, lying, porcine narcissist I’m married to, I intend to start a new career as an actress and a robot.”